Party At 4th & Mines Episode 13: Women to Avoid (Old Blog Post)
This episode I go solo! The topic is “Women to Avoid”. This is an old blog from the Jojo Bears archive. It’s more than 12 years old. A quick 30 minute episode. Take a listen & please excuse my reading. LOL!
Women to avoid
If you find that the women you date always turn out to be annoying or weird in some way, maybe you’re just choosing the wrong type of woman. For example, you should beware of the Club Veteran, who has been living in bars and clubs since before she was old enough to drink, as well as the Mystery Girl, who seems to have ninja smoke every time you try to find her. Poof and she’s gone.
Obviously, there isn’t just one type of woman that is right for every guy. There are thousands of fish in the sea and you will never find two that are alike. However, there are certain categories of women that should be avoided like the plague. Trust me, if you steer clear of this list of ladies you’ll save yourself a lot of heart ache.
This type of woman insists that you spend every waking moment with her, refusing to let you go out with the boys or spend any significant amount of time with anyone else. If you suggest that she should hook up with her girlfriends while you go watch the game with your friends, you will probably be faced with a two-hour argument during which she’ll ask you if you still love her about a thousand times.
Let’s face it: If you can’t have a little independence in your relationship, it’s never going to last. Unless, of course, you’re also needy, in which case this might be the type of woman that’s right for you.
The Stage Hog
Whether you’re with friends, family, or even just the dog, she always has to be the center of everyone’s attention. In order to accomplish this, she may use one or many of the following techniques: Talking excessively loud, wildly gesturing, telling unbelievable stories just to capture everyone’s attention, or wearing extremely provocative outfits.
Although this type of woman can be exhausting given that she’s always putting on a show, some men do enjoy women with lots of personality. Just be sure that you can handle it before you get involved.
The Gold Digger
You can usually see this type coming from a mile away. She compliments you on your expensive watch, and asks you what kind of car you drive, what you do for a living, where you live, and so on. Since the Gold Digger is basically looking for a sugar daddy, she’ll size you up within the first five minutes and drop you just as quickly if your cash flow doesn’t meet her standards.
Regardless of your financial situation, you should run the other way. Do you really want a woman who only sees men as dollar signs?
If your girlfriend is constantly fixing your hair and tucking in your shirt, you’re the victim of a Mother Goose. Even worse if she licks her hand then fixes your hair! Although she may have good intentions and be great in many other ways, her motherly instincts will eventually drive you friggin nuts.
She may not be a lost cause, however; some women can be taught to stop “mothering” you. However, if you’ve talked to her about it a few times and she still can’t resist the urge to spit on a tissue to remove a spot from your face, or hold out a hanky and tell you to blow, you might have to go your separate ways.
The Motor Mouth
This type chatters incessantly about every topic that crosses her mind, no matter how mundane or unimportant it may be. She will drive you crazy with her never-ending monologues about the guy at work who is so annoying because he chews with his mouth open and the woman at the store who acted like a total whore.
The worst type of Motor Mouth is the one whose favorite topic of conversation is herself. If you manage to make it through two hours of listening to her talk about the new shoes she wants to buy or her lower back pain, you are prepared to survive anything. My advice is to break it off as quickly as possible before you jump off a cliff.
The Princess is SUPER high maintenance. If she breaks a nail, she expects you to drop everything, including the 3 month old child you’re feeding and immediately take her to the nail shop. There’s no way she’ll go to the pub to have a beer and watch the game; only the trendiest venues will do. Her daddy always told her she was a princess and she expects to be treated like one.
Not only will she constantly keep you busy taking care of her every need, the Princess can also cost you a pretty penny. Although she’s not necessarily after your money like the Gold Digger, she has expensive taste, and expects you to shower her with nice things and take her out to posh places on a regular basis.
The Weeper is definitely over-emotional, breaking down in tears when anything bad happens. Crying at every movie, including comedies, crying when a lil baby cries, crying when you do something bad and when you do something nice. Wah, wah, wah all the friggin time. If you find yourself whipping out the box of tissues on a daily basis (and over trivial matters), it may be time to bail out.
Although she’s beautiful and has a hot body, the conversations aren’t exactly “stimulating.” If you’re dying to tell your girlfriend to just “smile and nod” every time she attempts to open her mouth, you’re probably dating a bimbo.
Most men welcome the opportunity to have a fling with a bimbo since they don’t have to go to great lengths to come up with interesting topics of conversation. But when it comes to a serious relationship, you’ll definitely lose interest faster than she can say “What does ‘dense’ mean?”
The Master Debater
This chick has made it her hobby to argue about absolutely everything. In particular, she has mastered the technique of bringing up topics and past arguments that are completely unrelated to the issue at hand. Like you talked to a friend she hated and she said it’s just like the time you ate the last cup cake last month. What? The more you try to tell her that her sense of logic is out of whack, the more she’ll argue.
She may also try to make you feel guilty about everything you do, even situations that you have absolutely no control over.
Obviously, if you’re always tense when you’re with your girlfriend, it defeats the purpose of having a relationship. If you got involved with this type of woman without realizing what you were getting yourself into, now’s the time to run in the other direction.
The Chronic Cheater
There are ultimately two types of chronic cheaters. The first will announce her history of infidelity on the first date as if she takes pride in it. This type is easy to detect and get away from quickly. The second is much more cunning — she cheats without ever admitting to it, even when you confront her directly.
In this case, your only chance of finding out the truth is by asking someone who knows her well and whom you think you can trust. For example, if you get along with one of her long-time male friends, you can try getting the dirt from him. However, if she’s cheating on you with him, you’re out of luck. If you have no way of finding out but you continue to have doubts, get rid of her. Trust is the foundation of any good relationship.
Shy girl and weda always want to keep it gangster but every now and then they go outside the gangster box. You know Casper and Bugsy aren’t doing it holmes, so they want something new. They get tired of taking their man to work because he has DUI’s, they get tired of multiple baby momma drama’s, they get tired of the low jack on the ankle and they get tired of the occasional smack in the head with a hammer. So you catch them when they are on a gangster break. All they do is smoke pot and fight with you. They talk about hard crime and hard times but they just don’t seem to want to change. Go ahead and run away from this one. A reformed gangster chick can be absolutely great but if she can’t change, then change your girl.
Now listen; they ain’t all bad
Of course, it’s not all black and white. Keep in mind that many women may show some traits from more than one category listed above and still be great girlfriend material.
If your girlfriend gets a little teary-eyed over Hallmark commercials but is strong in many other ways, don’t convince yourself that she’s a Weeper. After all, it’s not exactly news that women tend to be more emotional than men.
You should simply watch out for the types of women that take things to the extreme and make you miserable. It all comes down to this: If you’re unhappy more often than satisfied in your relationship, it’s time to hit the road. That’s all for today, so tell me what you think. Leave your topics here or on facebook. Also email your topics to firstname.lastname@example.org.